Being a mom is HARD, but incredibly fulfilling and beautiful. I know I’m a pretty new mom, but I feel like I’ve learned a lot already, and will definitely learn new things as the years go by.

From conception to birth… morning sickness to labor pains, loving the baby on the inside and when he/she decide to make their appearance, there are high points, and there are lows. But too often, I think the highs are celebrated, and the lows are swept under the rug

There seems to be a stigma that equates struggles in parenting with being a bad parent, and it’s an absolute shame that this is the case. Instead of being loved and supported, new moms feel defeated before they even start. That begs the question: “Why even be a mom at all?”. I’ve been blessed by a wonderful community that loves and supports me and my family through prayers, advice, encouragement, and love. And we could NOT do it without them! But even with an incredible support system, there are still struggles and crippling self-doubt. Postpartum depression is very real, and can be debilitating. Below are some discoveries I’ve made in my brief time as a motherhood. Please understand. I still struggle, and I definitely haven’t figured it all out. This is simply sharing to encourage moms, to say “Keep it up Mama! You’re doing a great job.”

1. Your baby needs you. Now this may seem elementary, but if you’re struggling with postpartum, you may buy into the lie that your baby is better off without you. I’m going to be really vulnerable here. My son’s inability/lack of desire to nurse almost broke me. I wanted him to nurse, but it wasn’t meant to be…and that was a huge part of my battle with postpartum depression. Anyone can hold a bottle for him, right? Well, maybe so, but my little man still needs his mama. There are times when I am the only one who can calm him, and while it can be a double-edged sword…a blessing and a curse, it’s something incredibly special that ties a mama and baby together, and it’s irreplaceable.
2. You need to do whatever necessary to take care of YOU. You can’t take care of others when you’re drained. And babies require so much care. Accept help, don’t try to do it on your own. Nap when baby naps… especially after their first born. You’re going to need that rest. Self care looks different for different people, but the bare minimum is make sure you’re hydrating and eating, getting what rest you can, and doing whatever else you need to do to help you function your best. And don’t in any way feel guilty if you have to go on (or are already on) an antidepressant. There’s no shame in that. You are doing what you need to do to be healthy mentally, so you can care for your child/children your best.
3. Don’t let a thought or mistake define who you are. We are emotional, reactionary beings. Being a good parent is not defined by perfection. If it was, NO ONE would be a good parent. But parent in humility, apologizing if you mess up, if you do something you shouldn’t have (even if they’re little and don’t quite understand…simply to get in the habit of doing so…honestly, I think kids pick up on more than we give them credit for), and not allowing your mistakes to define who you are as a parent. Now this doesn’t mean just brush over your mistakes. Absolutely not! But allow them to be a learning experience instead of a sentence of failure. Making a mistake is human…we all do it. But it in no way means you are a bad mom. Parenting is a growing process, and when we learn from our mistakes instead of beating ourselves up over them (I’m including myself in this!) we are on the right track to a healthy relationship with our child/children.
4. It’s impossible without God. Parenting often brings me to the end of myself and to my knees. It’s reassuring to know that in my weakness, God’s power is made perfect! Hold onto that thought, Mama!

I see you and love you. Please… never hesitate to reach out. I’d consider it a privilege to pray for you and walk with you in the journey of mommyhood. We can’t do it alone.

I wish to go back to years past and start anew
With the knowledge of life I’ve gained thus far.

To go back to toddler times
When life seems so simple…
At least to adults that is.

But to a child, life can quickly overwhelm.
So much to see.
So much to learn.

To scoot.
To crawl.
To walk and talk.
And yes, to run.

My little one cruises happily
Barely touching our couch.
And, without warning tumbles down and starts to fuss.
I pick him up, hold him close, and tell him he’s done well,
So he returns to do the same as cheerful as before.

I smile at his wonder and delight of all the simple things,
Pondering how much he has to learn the more he will explore.
And I know I’ll soon be running after him to keep him safe and secure.

It’s so easy to assume that we know so much more
Than our children do, but sometimes there are things to learn
From those yet young and small.

Many are still children in this walk called Life.
We still stumble.
We still fall.
But by the grace of God above, we’ll never walk alone.
He gently leads us through hard times,
And even carries us when we are overwhelmed.

So I’ll take my cue from my young son,
And live each day I have
In total gratitude of all that God has done
In awe and wonder of simple things
And contented to be a wife, a mama, sister, daughter,
A neighbor, and a friend.

For my little boy’s sweet smile is contagious as can be.
And melts this mama’s sometimes lukewarm heart, to softer be.
May I have his joy for life no matter how much I fall.
Teach me to be like you, my son.
I have so much to learn.

Life goes on, and stops for no one.
Even though we wish it would
Be still for just a single moment
So we could catch our breath in the busyness that will not cease.

Suddenly, out of nowhere your memory hits me between the eyes.
I pause stunned by the blow,
As tears flood from my eyes
Flowing as a waterfall down my chin and neck
Wishing I could see your face again
And we could joke just as before.

You were one who showed true concern
For anyone who crossed your path.
Never judging, always trying to
Find a way to help a friend in need.
A friend you truly were, and I miss you for all your care.

Taken from this life too soon
A brief spark, snuffed out with no regard
For a wife and son who loved you so
Parents and brother too.

Sometimes we Just don’t understand
Why God allows such things.
We shake our fist in anger
And question, “Why, God, why?”
Wrestling with the unknown reason
That never will make sense.

Wish you were here to love your wife
And see your son get big

Wish you were here to tease me like you did so before
Wish you were here to meet my son, your namesake,
And watch him grow and thrive.

I shed a tear to think of all you’ve missed
In the short time you’ve been gone.
But I know you are watching us and smiling from above
Not missing a single thing.
Your absence is not permanent.
I’ll see you again someday.

But still at times, I pause and reminisce
And wish that you were here.

In loving memory of Ryan Ferris (1982-2018)

Marriage is hard. That may seem like an obvious statement, but I believe the struggles in marriage are not discussed as much as the joys in marriage.

First of all, how in the world do two individuals become one? That is a statement that outside the realms of physical intimacy can be confusing. This is what I’ve learned:

1. Two people have decided to form a covenant before God and witnesses to say they will be together for the rest of their lives. “Til death do us part.”
2. Together with God’s blessing and grace, the husband and wife form a team, and work together to follow the path God created for them: a separate path with different goals from their single years.
3. Men and women have different ways of thinking and different ways of loving. Men and women are DIFFERENT! What one may think is loving the other, the other may truly appreciate it, but may not classify it as love. So it is vital to the health of any marriage for the couple to sit down, learn how the other person feels loved, and for each individual to put that into practice.
4. It is easy to be selfish. I know I’ve been selfish many times. It is easy to focus on what would (in theory) make you happy, and work toward achieving it. But the goal in any marriage should be to serve one another…and not because you have to, but because you want to…which is definitely easier said than done sometimes.
5. Communicate!! I have never been a great communicator. Sure, I talk, but that doesn’t mean that I communicate. It’s not easy to hash out misunderstandings, or deal with issues that are sensitive topics for one or both of you. However, the more you are willing to be vulnerable and share how you truly feel about the issue with your husband/wife, the closer you will feel to each other. It can be exhausting, but it is totally worth it! 🙂 There have been times where my marriage has been heading towards disaster because we weren’t dealing with things, but when we took the time to work through it as the team we were created to be, it created a beautiful moment, though difficult in the beginning, it not only brought us deeper in our relationship, it strengthened our love and all other aspects of our relationship.
6. You never stop learning or growing on your marriage journey. Life can be a roller coaster ride of highs and lows, but as long as you face whatever comes your way with a united front, and not let it tear you apart, you will be stronger for it.
7. Lastly, but most importantly, make your relationship with God your highest priority. As a couple, you may think your relationship with your spouse is most important, and it is NOT a relationship to neglect, but if you’re not right with God, how can you expect to be right with your other half? Now I know from personal experience this is definitely NOT easy. When life gets busy, my Bible reading is typically the first thing to go. 😦 But with persistence and grace for myself, it is rewarding to make time to spend with God.

Please understand, I do NOT have it all together, and this list is not a recipe for success and happiness, nor is it intended to make you feel guilty if you struggle with anything that I’ve mentioned above. I struggle with these things often, and while I might know what I need to do, consistently putting it into practice is a process. And in the last year, I have come to learn how having children, which my son is truly a joy (most of the time anyway! lol), complicates things even further. But God is not done with me yet, and I am forever grateful for grace. Keep keeping on!! God is holding you in His ever capable hands.

With love,
Beth

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 ESV

Hello and welcome to my blog! 🙂 I’m a 30-something wife, and stay at home mama of an energetic 14-month old boy who is growing way too fast. I’m starting this blog to not only document important events throughout my lil’ guy’s life, but share my experiences, the good, bad, and ugly. I pray that this blog will encourage, make you laugh, and bring you a sense of community. We are never alone in our struggles, although too often it feels like that is the case. I’m only one person, but if I can help you feel less alone in this journey, I will be grateful. 🙂